A worldwide survey of New Year’s resolutions found that the number one goal of all people around the world was (drum roll please) …
“Striking a better balance between work and play.” (1)
Yes “work-life balance” was the number one New Year’s resolution, all around the world, in all countries, cultures, languages, races, religions, political beliefs, you-name-it.
We all want more fun and joy and laughter to balance out our life of endless work, work, work, work, work, work…
If you answered the question honestly, you may have admitted that your life is filled with plenty of work and responsibilities… and not enough fun, play and laughter.
Now if the mere idea of more fun and play in life makes you squirm and look over your shoulder nervously… please don’t call your travel agent to book a heavy guilt trip. It’s only natural to want more joy in life. Everyone in the whole world is feeling a bit overworked and would like some more moments of joy mixed in with the seriousness to balance out their life.
Remind yourself that it is okay to be happy, take a break and have some fun. You earned it. If anyone questions you, just say “Oh that Mark Nolan guy on that website about more joy in life said I have to lighten up and enjoy life once in a while before I’m gone.”
“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life.” ~ Euripedes
Do you want more proof that you are not alone? The top selling non-fiction book for many years recently was, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, how to stop the little things from taking over your life. The reason this cheerful book is so popular is because people need to relax, they are stressed out, overwhelmed and feeling pulled in all directions at once.
An article in Business Week about stress at work actually used the words “the seemingly hopeless fight to find balance in life.”
Is it really hopeless? Or does it only seem that way at times? The answer is, no it is not hopeless, but we must have a plan. We can start with being mindful and consciously balancing our lives.
There are many advantages to doing this …
The Benefits
When you take a day off to rest and ponder and laugh, it gives your mind a chance to take a breather. You let your body rest with sleep, why not give your soul a day off from the soul-sapping activites of money gathering and people pleasing?
Do you ever feel like maybe your subconscious mind has been trying to tell you something, but you never stop “talking” to yourself long enough for your intuition to get a word in?
At the very least, take a ten-minute mental vacation by meditating, or simply relaxing at a park or taking a walk. Do some deep breathing and just be present in the moment, not thinking about the past or future, not judging and analyzing life, simply enjoying it.
You can gain great benefits simply from taking regular breaks.
Pema Chodron wrote:
“All over the world, people are so caught up in running that they forget to take advantage of the beauty around them. We become so accustomed to speeding ahead that we rob ourselves of joy.
Maybe the most important teaching is to lighten up and relax.
My experience is that this is how our thoughts begin to slow down. Magically, it seems that there’s a lot more space to breathe, a lot more room to dance, and a lot more happiness.”
You are not alone
Some time ago I was helping out as a volunteer at a fundraiser to benefit a charity organization. I helped to work the phones, and almost all of the people I talked to were business people. I asked every one of them “How’s life in the _____ business?” Virtually all of them answered, “All I do is work, I don’t have a life.”
They all said that. All of them. Not one person said they were looking forward to taking a day off any time soon to enjoy the rewards of hard work. Not one. I suggested to each person that maybe they had earned a day off. They all said no they couldn’t take a break, way too busy, too much work to do, they never seem to get caught up, etc.
Nobody is going to come along and balance our lives for us. We have to make it a goal.
I learned this the hard way, by working so much that it caused some serious health problems for me.
Nowadays, although I do my share of hard work, I also make a point to equally balance my life with my share of fun and relaxation too.
That doesn’t mean I’ve had an easy life. I’ve lived through my share of serious pain and tragedy… and I’m sure you’ve seen your share too. Yet I’m also sure you agree that fun and play are important and that laughter is the best medicine, right?
That bears repeating…
Laughter is the Best Medicine
Many people see no problem with taking prescription medicines, but they shy away from joy, fun and laughter as medicine.
The question is, why? Why don’t we have more joy, more fun, and more laughter than we do? Why is it okay to take a pill, but not okay to take a break? It makes no sense.
Why is it that the majority of our world’s population chooses “striking a better balance between work and play” as the most common New Year’s resolution? A resolution that will no doubt be broken in a few weeks. Why doesn’t having more joy in life just come naturally to us?
There are a lot of reasons; societal conditioning, debts, guilt, the puritan workaholic ethic… but the worst is what I call …
The psychology of being overly serious
To those who suffer from that, I would like to say, “Sorry for smiling.” I can’t help it.
This psychology of being overly serious is often pounded into you by well-meaning authority figures all throughout your life. Well meaning parents and your teachers, your employers, government officials, doctors, your peer group… it seems like people are always telling you to be more serious.
Meanwhile… I must confess that I enjoy much more fun and joy and laughter in my life than the average person, because I don’t listen to that sad song. Let me take this opportunity to apologize to all of the overly serious people who have yelled at me and said, “Life isn’t about having fun!”
Oops, sorry, who knew? My bad. I deeply and profoundly offer my most sincere regrets for being so happy and having so much fun, joy and laughter in my life.
I’m joking but do you know what I mean?
I remember when I was a kid in school; the authority figures would say things like:
“I’ll wipe that smile right off your face!”
“You won’t be laughing when I’m done with you!”
“Oh so you think you are funny huh?
“We’ll see if you think this punishment is funny!”
“Who’s laughing now?”
And my favorite, “Oh so you are a real smart ass!” To which I would reply, “Uhm, well I guess it’s better than being a dumb ass.”
Or worse, “What kind of fool do you think I am?” To which I’d reply “I don’t know, how many kinds are there?”
And so on.
Life is full of miserable people who want to rain on your parade.
However, the good news is…
Happiness is the best revenge
Simply make a conscious habit to practice an attitude of gratitude and an appreciation of the simple pleasures and joys of everyday life.
Make no mistake; there are many unhappy people out there. I’m sure you’ve met a few in your own life. And misery loves company, so those people might try to bring you down. As one of my funny friends jokingly says, “Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they are not out to get you.”
One person actually said to me once, “Do you have to be so #@*&%! cheerful and positive all the time?”
Yes, actually, I do. What can I say? To quote that wise philosopher Steve Martin, “Excuuuuse, Meeeeeee!”
If happiness is the best revenge and a lot of our happiness can come from balancing work and play… one of the biggest payoffs in life satisfaction can be found in scheduling free time to enjoy life.
“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” ~E.B. White
While you can’t save everyone else, you can still be happy in spite of it all. You have to make it a goal and then block out all of the negative influences that try to rob you of joy.
For example, when we are growing up we are told things like “Keep your nose to the grindstone,” and “Life was not meant to be fun and games,” or “Straighten up and act your age. Buckle down and work harder.”
Meanwhile these people also contradicted themselves and said, “All work and no play can make Jack a dull boy.”
Maybe we should just stop listening to “them” and think for ourselves. There’s an idea. What a concept. Spread the word.
Appreciating This Temporary Gift We Call Life
Do you believe that life is a gift? I do too. And we should make it a point to appreciate this temporary gift, while it lasts. It will be over soon enough.
It reminds me of the famous quote:
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji
Let’s agree to keep these things in mind as we travel together through this journey.
Life is fleeting and your time here is very limited.
It is okay to have work-life balance.
It is okay to take a day off and spend time with family and friends.
It’s okay to smile.
It’s okay to be happy.
It’s okay to have fun.
It’s okay to have a few laughs.
It’s okay to avoid negative people.
Go ahead and enjoy a balanced life, in spite of everything and everyone else.
Appreciate your life and live it with love, laughter, learning and an attitude of gratitude every single day.
“Oh sure, that’s easy for you to say.”
Due to my cheerfulness, people often question my sanity, or claim I must have had an easy and sheltered life. Let’s settle this question now. Am I just some Pollyanna who lives an easy life? No, just the opposite. It has been a difficult road, with many wrong turns, accidents and uphill struggles.
So for the record, I’ve been through a lot of tragedy, hard times and plain old hell-on-earth. And I bet you may have seen just as many or more troubles yourself. The point is, I’ve still managed to do my best to consciously focus on the good, and to try to live each precious day with joy and happiness.
How did I keep smiling?
By making fun and play and laughter an accepted part of my daily life.
By giving myself permission to be happy and enjoy life even when others might not.
By refusing to let negative people or circumstances grind me down.
My dad had a great sense of humor and he used to say “Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’ve been up to.” If I was ever getting too serious or upset over something, he would also say, in mock seriousness, “What’s the matter, are your shorts pinching you?” He could always make me laugh and see the absurdity of life. Then when I was laughing he would say…
“This too shall pass.”
He was right. And in fact, he passed away, far too soon. I miss my father very much. Everything and everyone in your life will pass on by soon.
Now I try to be that guy, like my dad was, the person who can always make others laugh when things get too serious. My mom, for example, tells me I’m a joy to be around. I gave her many gray hairs so it is only fair that I make her laugh and smile nowadays.
And now I have my own kids, who are a joy to be around, they make me smile and laugh and help me to appreciate the simple good things in life.
I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person. Audrey Hepburn
The gift of laughter is a wonderful thing, because laughter really is the best medicine for this crazy world we live in. Pass the gift along to other people you talk to today. Tell them a funny story or joke, or just pay them a compliment so they smile. It costs nothing to say a few cheerful words.
You Can Do It
You can have more play and fun and joy in your life, you can have a lot of laughs, and you can have a better work-life balance in your schedule.
All it takes is a desire to be happier and then the conscious awareness of keeping your work and life in balance. I know you can do it, and I hope this humble blog may be of some help to you on your journey.
Keep smiling,
Mark Nolan
(1) Reuters, Work-life balance tops global New Year wish list